Texas To The World Dispatch #21

Governor Goddamn is a rollin’ contradiction, partly truth and partly fiction, to bastardize the lyrics of Kristofferson. He wails about federal intervention in states’ rights while doing everything in his political power to mess with the rights of cities and local governments in Texas. Anything Austinites might do, Abbott instinctively despises. He refers to Travis County Sheriff Sally Hernandez as “Sanctuary Sally” because she refuses to hold for long periods of time the undocumented offenders of minor crimes. Abbott wants everyone detained until ICE can show up and interrogate, but they are often months behind schedule and the bill to taxpayers for feeding and housing minor miscreants is absurd.

He also decided to override Austin’s decision to demand ride hailing companies Uber and Lyft conduct background checks before hiring drivers. Both companies retained lobbyists who pushed a statewide law to lift the background checks, which made Asshat Abbott happy when it was approved. But hell, it’s not just Austin. Down on the border, McAllen Mayor Jim Darling calls the governor’s Special Session agenda an “assault on cities.”

Maybe our insecure gov needs one of those “dear leader” sessions like Trump’s cabinet provided for him. We could get lobbyists and sycophant Republicans to sit around a table and praise him for his leadership and genius, even as the city skyline burns out the window. Perhaps that would mitigate his politics of anger.

I’d prefer not to be a pecan tree growing on Greg Abbott’s property. The oddest of agenda items the governor has asked to take up in the special session is a measure that would toss out restrictions passed by cities to protect trees. Huh? This is a problem? Our trees have too much protection?

Everyone wondered why Rolling Thunder was bringing us such an obscure topic but the Texas Observer’s Naveena Sadasivam got to the heart of the matter when she discovered that Abbott had killed off a pecan tree protected by city of Austin rules. Our freedom fighter governor wanted a bigger house with a sprawlin’ ol’ swimmin’ pool and trees were in the way. Abbott said it was “socialistic” that Austin could control the fate of his trees, which had to go if he were to build a house even larger than the 4540-square foot residence in which he was struggling to abide.

Austin considered the trees on Abbott’s West Austin property to be “heritage” because they were pecans with trunks that were more than 24 inches in diameter. He was told they had to be protected but less than a year later in 2012 he had asked permission to remove at least one because its root zone had been harmed by construction crews. These were called “unpermitted impacts,” which, Abbott probably orchestrated. According to Sadasivam’s reporting, the governor is as anti-tree as he is anti-Austin. He has since gotten permission to remove a 29-inch heritage pecan, a 23-inch red oak, and a 19-inch magnolia.

Hey, Saint Reagan probably convinced Abbott that trees cause pollution.

NBC sent Megyn Kelly down to Austin to interview the only person in town more vile than our state’s governor: Alex Jones. Her pretense for the interview has been that the conspiracy theorist nutjob has the ear of the president, who is, in his own right, a kindred nutjob. Kelly and her new network also seem interested in the fact that Jones’ empire of nonsense, known as Infowars, has been granted White House press credentials. This is related to the previous sentence about the kindred nature of nutjobs and, in no way, can it justify giving a national platform to a man who thinks the mass shooting of children at an elementary school in Sandy Hook was a hoax and involved actors. Everything, in fact, is a conspiracy to Jones, including the fact that rivers run to the sea instead of the reverse, and that the sun would rise in the west were it not for the meddlesome interference of the Bilderberg group.

Sandy Hook parents are, of course, outraged at NBC and advertisers, under pressure, are pulling their commercials from Kelly’s new show on the network, and she has been disinvited from hosting a fund-raising gala for Sandy Hook Promise, an organization dedicated to preventing gun violence against children. Regardless of Kelly’s and her employer’s rationalization, putting Jones on TV legitimizes his idiocy, and offends the families who have lost their children to gun violence. The Fathers’ Day broadcast is liable to be particularly painful to dads missing their children after Sandy Hook, a tragedy Jones called, “synthetic, produced with actors.”

Poor Jonathan Tilove of the American Statesman admitted to running around to steakhouses the night Kelly was in town in the off chance that he might come across the pair and get something to write about that could be of interest. Or not. Jones charmed the lady by taking her to Rudy’s franchise barbecue and later calling his day with her a “soul sucking experience,” no doubt trying to create an excuse for why his soul is missing. Ultimately, Kelly and Jones are completely similar characters, though.

They are both clowns looking for higher ratings.

I used to rise at 3:30 a.m. in the little house beneath the radio tower and get on my yellow Honda 750cc café racer to ride to work. At the right time of the year, I smelled orange blossoms from the groves on either side of the road or honeysuckle and saw the Gulf winds shoving around the fronds at the top of the Washington palms. The radio station had to be on the air by 5:00 a.m. so I usually had just enough time to turn onto Business 83 in McAllen and stop at the non-descript storefront where a middle-aged woman was cooking in obscurity at a place without tables.

I still don’t think I’ve ever smelled anything so wonderful as fresh flour tortillas coming off her grill and the barbacoa de cabeza rolled up into it with hot sauce and salt. She grew to expect me about the same time every morning but never had my three tacos to go wrapped or ready because I think she wanted to make sure they were fresh when I took them on the motorcycle. We didn’t communicate much because she was always busy and I gathered there was a bit of a language barrier. Eventually, I think there was a sign on the door that said, “El Pato.” I know I kept coming by until I left the Rio Grande Valley and I was pleased many years later upon returning to discover the restaurants had grown from that one tiny shop on the edge of the highway to a chain spread across the Rio Grande delta country. They are still very good, but not quite as tasty as the breakfast tacos of my memory.

The closest I’ve ever come to repeating that youthful breakfast taco experience has been at Maria’s Taco Xpress on South Lamar in Austin. The tortillas are warm the barbacoa is delicious, as is every other filling Maria’s cooks. Her restaurant had long served as a sort cultural center for old South Austin, where the Bubbas used to roam. But Maria’s property taxes went up to the point where she had decided to sell and get out of the business because the work and money stress didn’t offset the great food. Maria Corbalan told Austin360 that her property value had risen from $760k in 2012 to more than $3 million this year and she will have to pay $70k in taxes. She may have to take on an investor to stay in business. She has decided to remain open for now.

But we may all soon be forced to settle for tourist tacos.